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What to Talk about with a Coach

February 22, 2012 By Moxy Leave a Comment

Coaching is unique, and many people even find the coaching process difficult to explain. In fact, one of the challenges those new to coaching may experience is figuring out what to discuss with a coach. I know this was true for me the first time I spoke to a professional coach.

Why the dilemma? Many things in life these days have a cookie-cutter approach. Coaching does not. You choose what you are going to work on and the best way to do so. As such, there are many things you could talk about with your coach. Here are the top three that come to mind:

1. Wins. When something great happens, when you reach a goal, or when you get through a seemingly impossible situation, share it with your coach. Celebrate when you make progress. Doing so will make the win more rewarding and build confidence. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true. Don’t be afraid to celebrate.

2. Problems. Life happens. Yes, we all have bumps in the road: The contract was canceled, the employee left unexpectedly, you caught the flu before the big presentation. Communicating the setbacks with your coach takes away some of the sting. Once you’ve been heard, the solution (and there is ALWAYS a solution) often arrives. It’s even worth sharing those things that “aren’t really a problem, but…”

3. Commitments. It can be helpful to have external accountability. When you need to get something done and you don’t fully trust yourself to do it on your own, tell your coach exactly what you want to do and when you promise to do it. Your coach will help you think how your action will further your ultimate goal or vision, and will hold you accountable for what you commit to doing. Just considering a commitment can rise up any limiting beliefs that may be hiding. Once those are addressed, you can get into action.

Using a coach helps you reach your goals faster than working on your own. Having an objective person outside your circle listen and reflect your thoughts is invaluable. It seems simple, yet it’s powerful.

My Moxy Message to you: Try coaching. Almost any great coach will offer a sample session. Open your mind, make the call, and set up a sample session. Here are a few places you can look for a coach to try out: the coach referral service at the International Coaching Federation, at Noomii, a professional coach directory or just search on good ole Google.

 

 

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Spend less time on email – I dare you!

February 10, 2012 By Moxy Leave a Comment

I often wonder about the software developer who chose to set Microsoft’s Outlook email feature to automatically send and receive our email. What was she thinking? I don’t know about you, but hearing a chime or seeing a picture of an envelope blink on my screen every time I get an email doesn’t do much for my productivity. I had a hard enough time focusing without this tempting distraction. The worst part was that my ego loved this distraction. “Ah! Someone needs me…wants to talk to me…is inquiring about my coaching…is inviting me to lunch! What would the next email be?” That software developer made an important choice for us, and I used to think it was a done deal. It is not.

The allure of email makes sense. Ever since I was a little girl, I loved getting a piece of mail with my name on it. Who doesn’t? As I was pondering this scenario I realized the anticipation of email had become a detriment to momentum in my workday. So I vowed to be more efficient with email. I was reading The 4-Hour Work Week, by Tim Ferris when I realized something great. You can turn the feature to automatically send/receive OFF on your email! At some level I probably knew this, yet my mind was trained to think that there really wasn’t another way—that it was the social norm.

My new desired outcome was to focus more time on business building tasks at Moxy and to be more present with friends and family in my personal life. Therefore, my new email rules were as follows

  • Check email twice a day, before nine and just before four
  • No checking email on Saturday or Sunday

When I first implemented these changes, it was hard. There was a magnetic pull from my email. It had a mind of its own and was screaming, “Check me!” I had to be disciplined. I’d often come to a point in my day where I would have to actually say aloud, “Nope, you do not need to check email right now. Do your work, Jen!”

On the weekend, there was a time when I lurched over to my phone while playing Monopoly with my kids. I was about to hit the email app on my iPhone. “STOP IT!” I said to myself. I had to set my phone down and walk away. It was like some addictive drug. This was my ego, and it was not serving me.

Eventually, taking control of my email got easier. I modified my rules slightly:

  • Check email thoroughly Sunday evening or Monday morning
  • Glance at it once in the morning and once at three for important messages from clients during workdays
  • No checking it on the weekend

I keep my clients informed of my rules and have alternative ways for them to get in touch with me if there is an urgent need. I am no longer a slave to my email.

Here is my Moxy Message to you: Turn off your auto send/receive on email for two weeks. Choose to receive it manually, just like you choose when you pick up your mail at your PO box (if you have one). I double-dog dare you! Google how to do this for whatever email tool you are using. Then, think about how often you are going to check your email. Perhaps two or four times a day will work for you; maybe you will do it daily or only on weekdays. It is up to you. I know that your mind is telling you it can’t be done and that you won’t survive. But it can and you will. Live intentionally, even with your approach to email.

 

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No More Time Management

January 24, 2012 By Moxy 5 Comments

I no longer believe in time management. You cannot manage time. What, then, can you manage? Actions.

Ninety percent of my clients say that time management is a struggle. Many of them don’t have that natural ability to get organized to a point where they feel “totally on top of things.” They simply don’t know where to start. Neither did I. A foundational belief I have and share with my clients is a common desire to develop their personal leadership as well as their ability to lead others. Being able to manage your day and feel productive is the core of being able to lead yourself and others well.

A few years ago I was discussing the qualities of leadership with my pastor. He mentioned a book on organization he loved and suggested I read it. The book was Getting Things Done by David Allen. When I read it, I felt like the author cracked open my head and wrote solutions to all the issues I had about feeling scattered. I could see how my life and they way I worked could be different.

One of the best tips I took and implement today is managing my actions instead of my time. I ask, “What is my next physical action?” on just about everything I do. For example, before reading the book I might have thought, “I need to get a certification completed.” I may have even scheduled time to work on it, but getting to the goal was always a time management balancing act. Today I ask, “What is the next physical action I have to take in order to accomplish getting that certification complete?” My answer: “I need to schedule three hours to do the required time log.” Then I schedule time to do the log and ask the question again. It sounds so simple, I know. Yet it’s powerful.

Getting Things Done is a helpful resource I’ve shared with several clients. Although it has been useful, I notice some of them never get implement the practices shared in this best-selling book. Ah-hah moment for me! To help clients with this common struggle, I launched the GET THINGS DONE! Tele-class. They get group coaching on implementing and realize it’s not such a big, hairy deal. It’s been a great success.

Here’s my Moxy Message to you: Think differently. Your brain is a powerful tool. Make a list of all the projects that are looming in your head. Next, grab a different color pen and write down the next physical action you need to take to complete each task. Get specific and drill down to the simplest detail. Your day will move from being filled with activity to high-level productivity. The difference translates to your bottom line.

 

If you are interested, a Get Things Done! class is starting February 7th. Find the information here: http://www.facebook.com/events/314154061955734/

 

 

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Got Moxie?

May 4, 2011 By Moxy 7 Comments

I’m often asked, “Why did you choose the name Moxy for your business? What does it mean?”

The word “moxie” is special to me because when I was growing up my father used to tell me, “You’ve got moxie, kid.” Later in life, I began to consider the meaning of the word.

mox·ie n. Slang 1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage. 2. Aggressive energy; initiative. 3. Skill; know-how.

Did I really have courage, initiative and know-how, or was dad just building up my confidence?

Whether I had it or not, I knew moxie was something worth striving for. Achieving success in life generally requires the guts to take a risk that might not flow with the status quo, the skills to perform complicated work and the determination to follow through on promises. That’s moxie.

Fortunately for me, and for you, the decision to nurture one’s moxie is a sign of having moxie. So whether we’re born with it or not, we can attain it.

In this debut blog post I pay homage to Dr. Augustin Thompson, who founded the Moxie Nerve Food Co. and included the word “moxie” in his 1885 trademark application. He had developed a nerve tonic, which he marketed as a health drink “guaranteed to cure almost any ill, including loss of manhood, paralysis, and “softening of the brain.”

Moxie nerve tonic faced a lot of competition among health beverages, but Dr. Thompson worked tirelessly to make his brand a household name. As a result, the very word “moxie” became a slang term to describe people with guts and savvy. The tonic went on to become a soft drink, outselling Coca-Cola in the early 1900s. It’s still distributed in northern New England.

The fruit of Dr. Thompson’s labor lives on over 100 years after his death. If that doesn’t show you what a little moxie can accomplish, nothing will.

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Saying Yes By Saying No

February 23, 2011 By Moxy 3 Comments

How do entrepreneurs uphold their standards for service and avoid looking like jerks when they have to say no to clients? You’ve probably heard one of the best customer-service principles is to say yes even when you have to say no. Well, here’s how it’s done.

Scenario:

You land a great client and agree to work on part of a large project. The client did not hire you to manage the whole project, but keeps asking — politely — for you to do extra. You reluctantly do, and the client appreciates it but keeps asking for more and more without offering additional compensation.

It’s as if the client wanted you to project manage in the first place. You are angry, you resent the client, and you feel trapped.

In your attempt to be kind, you trained your client to lean on you beyond the contracted agreement for no additional charge.

Moxy Challenge:

You always have the choice of how to respond. You are not trapped.

First of all, tell the client what you can do. What you can’t do doesn’t matter, and there’s no need to draw attention to it.

Then explain that what you are offering is not part of your original agreement, and make an offer to do the additional work under terms you are comfortable with.

If the client persists in pushing for you to do the work for free, don’t be afraid to say no. By rejecting something that isn’t right, you are likely making room for something better.

Make sure you are walking away from every client and/or employee conversation with a win/win outcome. If you are feeling ripped off in the situation, you probably are. Speak up … with grace, of course.

Don’t be a slave to your work life. Love your work and live intentionally.

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